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Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint....it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
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Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Mepkin Abbey
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On Thursday we visited Mepkin Abbey in Moncks Corner, SC. It’s an extraordinary place! Our guide gave the history of the land back to colonial days. Our guide told us that the property had been about 7,000 acres. She wasn’t sure if it was still 7,000 acres; but, she guesses that it is still several thousand acres.
Henry and Clare Boothe Luce, who was a convert, donated the property to the Charleston diocese in 1940s. Trappist monks moved there in 1949. They’ve opened beautiful, inspiring Mepkin Abbey up to all visitors of all faiths. Our guide told us that persons from every walk of life and every faith have made retreats there, which are free of charge.
What a wonderful example of Christianity! The monks have put aside privacy and liability concerns to open their home to everyone, just as Jesus would do. In a world so consumed with legal concerns, and selfishness, the monks have enriched countless lives, including ours, by allowing us to visit their home.
A slide show of our visit is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOt2mFKBdgI
Photographs of our visit are at https://picasaweb.google.com/101199968059939978678/MepkinAbbey02
Mepkin Abbey’s website is www.mepkinabbey.org/
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On Thursday we visited Mepkin Abbey in Moncks Corner, SC. It’s an extraordinary place! Our guide gave the history of the land back to colonial days. Our guide told us that the property had been about 7,000 acres. She wasn’t sure if it was still 7,000 acres; but, she guesses that it is still several thousand acres.
Henry and Clare Boothe Luce, who was a convert, donated the property to the Charleston diocese in 1940s. Trappist monks moved there in 1949. They’ve opened beautiful, inspiring Mepkin Abbey up to all visitors of all faiths. Our guide told us that persons from every walk of life and every faith have made retreats there, which are free of charge.
What a wonderful example of Christianity! The monks have put aside privacy and liability concerns to open their home to everyone, just as Jesus would do. In a world so consumed with legal concerns, and selfishness, the monks have enriched countless lives, including ours, by allowing us to visit their home.
A slide show of our visit is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOt2mFKBdgI
Photographs of our visit are at https://picasaweb.google.com/101199968059939978678/MepkinAbbey02
Mepkin Abbey’s website is www.mepkinabbey.org/
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What?
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According to generals and some others in Pakistan, we shouldn’t have “violated their sovereignty” in taking out Bin Laden. What? According so some, including the Huffington Post, other liberal media, and other liberals in the US, taking out Bin Laden wasn’t “legal”. What? These same people say that we shouldn’t celebrate killing Bin Laden. What?
If a terrorist kills scores of innocent people in our country, then we’re not supposed to take him out? Would I have a problem with an Israeli commando team coming into this country, unbeknownst to us beforehand, and taking out a terrorist who killed innocent Israeli citizens? Absolutely NOT!
I’ve got news for the generals and others in Pakistan, the Huffington Post, the liberal media, and other liberals around the world: THIS IS WAR, PEOPLE! In war, you take out mass-murderer enemies who murder innocent people. In war, you “cut off the head of the snake”. In war, it's “kill, or be killed”.
MANY psalms give praise and thanks to God, i.e., celebrate, for His delivering us from our enemies (http://www.lovethetruth.com/articles/psalms_and_enemies.htm). We should celebrate God delivering us from Osama Bin Laden. We should ignore those who suggest otherwise.
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According to generals and some others in Pakistan, we shouldn’t have “violated their sovereignty” in taking out Bin Laden. What? According so some, including the Huffington Post, other liberal media, and other liberals in the US, taking out Bin Laden wasn’t “legal”. What? These same people say that we shouldn’t celebrate killing Bin Laden. What?
If a terrorist kills scores of innocent people in our country, then we’re not supposed to take him out? Would I have a problem with an Israeli commando team coming into this country, unbeknownst to us beforehand, and taking out a terrorist who killed innocent Israeli citizens? Absolutely NOT!
I’ve got news for the generals and others in Pakistan, the Huffington Post, the liberal media, and other liberals around the world: THIS IS WAR, PEOPLE! In war, you take out mass-murderer enemies who murder innocent people. In war, you “cut off the head of the snake”. In war, it's “kill, or be killed”.
MANY psalms give praise and thanks to God, i.e., celebrate, for His delivering us from our enemies (http://www.lovethetruth.com/articles/psalms_and_enemies.htm). We should celebrate God delivering us from Osama Bin Laden. We should ignore those who suggest otherwise.
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Friday, May 6, 2011
Senior Texting Codes
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ATD At the Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Fell
BTW: Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CMB: Covered by Medicare
CUATSC: See you at the Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWIW: Forgot Where I was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures out
LOL: Living on Lipitor
OMSG: Oh My Sorry, Gas
ROFL.CGU Rolling on the floor Laughing and Can't get UP
SGGP: Sorry Gotta go Poop
TTYL; Talk to You Louder
WTP: Where's the prunes
GGLKI Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
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ATD At the Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Fell
BTW: Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CMB: Covered by Medicare
CUATSC: See you at the Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWIW: Forgot Where I was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures out
LOL: Living on Lipitor
OMSG: Oh My Sorry, Gas
ROFL.CGU Rolling on the floor Laughing and Can't get UP
SGGP: Sorry Gotta go Poop
TTYL; Talk to You Louder
WTP: Where's the prunes
GGLKI Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
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Thursday, May 5, 2011
“We Catholics have it easy…”
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“We Catholics have it easy. All we have to do is go to mass once a week, and we’re in (heaven).” I actually heard this in a homily at our church. I don’t think that the priest was kidding--I think that he really believes what he said! Jesus said that those who feed the poor, cloth the naked, shelter the homeless, etc. would see heaven, and those who didn’t wouldn’t. How can this priest reconcile his remark with Jesus’?
I have other questions. Which is more important—paying off a church mortgage in four years, or feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, giving shelter to the homeless, etc.? Jesus says the latter. Our church has raised millions of dollars from its parishioners to pay off its mortgage in four years. The amount raised for feeding the poor, clothing the naked, sheltering the homeless, etc. is a pittance compared to that amount.
Should my church be telling me what I should give to (pay off the mortgage), and how much ($10K)? How does our church reconcile this with Jesus’ teachings?
Catholic Relief Services has aligned with Caritas in taking contributions for the victims of Japan’s earthquake and tsunami. The money that they collect will not be used for emergency food, water, clothing, and shelter, but instead will be put into a bank account and used later for counseling. Jesus said feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give shelter to the homeless.
We’re all well aware of the pedophile priest scandal, including the cover-up. Does the church have the moral authority to tell me what I should do when it has done such a poor job itself?
I have questions. I’m looking to God for answers, not the church.
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“We Catholics have it easy. All we have to do is go to mass once a week, and we’re in (heaven).” I actually heard this in a homily at our church. I don’t think that the priest was kidding--I think that he really believes what he said! Jesus said that those who feed the poor, cloth the naked, shelter the homeless, etc. would see heaven, and those who didn’t wouldn’t. How can this priest reconcile his remark with Jesus’?
I have other questions. Which is more important—paying off a church mortgage in four years, or feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, giving shelter to the homeless, etc.? Jesus says the latter. Our church has raised millions of dollars from its parishioners to pay off its mortgage in four years. The amount raised for feeding the poor, clothing the naked, sheltering the homeless, etc. is a pittance compared to that amount.
Should my church be telling me what I should give to (pay off the mortgage), and how much ($10K)? How does our church reconcile this with Jesus’ teachings?
Catholic Relief Services has aligned with Caritas in taking contributions for the victims of Japan’s earthquake and tsunami. The money that they collect will not be used for emergency food, water, clothing, and shelter, but instead will be put into a bank account and used later for counseling. Jesus said feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give shelter to the homeless.
We’re all well aware of the pedophile priest scandal, including the cover-up. Does the church have the moral authority to tell me what I should do when it has done such a poor job itself?
I have questions. I’m looking to God for answers, not the church.
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Monday, May 2, 2011
Thank You, Lord
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Today, when we learn that brave Navy Seals killed Osama Bin Laden in a daring raid in Pakistan, I'm reminded of a scene from the movie Patton. General Patton (played by George C. Scott) is at a temporary headquarters on Third Army's drive to Bastogne to rescue 101st Airborne soldiers who had been surrounded by German enemy for weeks. It was snowing.
-You want to see me, general?
-Oh, yeah, chaplain. I'm tired of 3rd Army having to fight Germans. . . . . .with supreme command, no gasoline. . . . . .and now this ungodly weather. I want a prayer, a weather prayer.
A weather prayer, sir?
Yes, let's see if you can't get God working with us.
Gonna take a thick rug for that kind of praying.
I don't care if it takes a flying carpet.
I don't know how this will be received, general. Praying for good weather so we can kill our fellow man.
I assure you, because of my relations with the Almighty. . . . . .if you write a good prayer, we'll have good weather. And I expect that prayer within an hour.
Yes, sir.
Next, the movie shows Gen. Patton outside, at night in the snow, praying the prayer that the chaplain wrote. The next scene (the following day) shows US fighter aircraft flying combat support in clear blue skies.
MANY psalms ask God to deliver us from our enemies (http://www.lovethetruth.com/articles/psalms_and_enemies.htm).
Thank You, Lord, for the brave Navy Seals who accomplished this mission. Thank You for delivering enemy Osama Bin Laden, murderer of MANY innocent people.
Today, when we learn that brave Navy Seals killed Osama Bin Laden in a daring raid in Pakistan, I'm reminded of a scene from the movie Patton. General Patton (played by George C. Scott) is at a temporary headquarters on Third Army's drive to Bastogne to rescue 101st Airborne soldiers who had been surrounded by German enemy for weeks. It was snowing.
-You want to see me, general?
-Oh, yeah, chaplain. I'm tired of 3rd Army having to fight Germans. . . . . .with supreme command, no gasoline. . . . . .and now this ungodly weather. I want a prayer, a weather prayer.
A weather prayer, sir?
Yes, let's see if you can't get God working with us.
Gonna take a thick rug for that kind of praying.
I don't care if it takes a flying carpet.
I don't know how this will be received, general. Praying for good weather so we can kill our fellow man.
I assure you, because of my relations with the Almighty. . . . . .if you write a good prayer, we'll have good weather. And I expect that prayer within an hour.
Yes, sir.
Next, the movie shows Gen. Patton outside, at night in the snow, praying the prayer that the chaplain wrote. The next scene (the following day) shows US fighter aircraft flying combat support in clear blue skies.
MANY psalms ask God to deliver us from our enemies (http://www.lovethetruth.com/articles/psalms_and_enemies.htm).
Thank You, Lord, for the brave Navy Seals who accomplished this mission. Thank You for delivering enemy Osama Bin Laden, murderer of MANY innocent people.
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